The Art of "Soul Mating"

The Art of "Soul Mating"

Gaza, January, We grow up with preconceived notions about many definitions in life. But most of us reach a phase in life where we start asking big questions and resorting to spirituality in order to help us make sense of the life we are living in such a rapidly interchangeable world. 

As you start looking inwards and unfolding your layers, you embark on a very exciting yet frightening journey of discovery and soul searching. You come face to face with your ego and if you break it then you will meet your soul and although you had it since you were born, you feel like you are getting to know it all over again. Then we start wondering about soul mates and soul mating.

The official technical definition of a soulmate is a human with whom you share a natural and profound affinity with, invincible kinship of spirit and mutual attraction (not necessarily physical or sexual). That definition is very accurate, but not until you feel it and go through it you are able to come up with your own understanding and definition of what a soulmate is or means. At first, it feels like you are heavily drawn to someone in a way that you cant explain, then this dilemma explains everything. Life is weird, isn’t it?

Many thinkers, philosophers, writers, gurus and others delved into the state of having\finding a soul mate and shared their own point of view about it. Paulo Coelho, for example, wrote in “Brida” saying that only a few people can recognize their soulmates by seeing a light in their eyes or on their left shoulder. I agree on the eyes part, the eyes are the window to the soul. But you can’t expect from all the people to see “light”.

My personal belief is that we are all but shreds or shards of the same soul. We are taught that we have only one half and one soulmate. I beg to differ. I believe we have many soul mates and we all are like puzzle pieces. If we are all combined in the right way, we make one soul. One entity.

I am no spiritual guru, I don’t go into deep meditations and I haven’t seen any other worlds. Atleast not yet. But I believe there are many ways to spot your soulmate, some of which I don’t know yet some I do know about. Ofcourse, you can spot them threw recognizing a light in their eyes or an aura around them. But the most effective and powerful way is the heart.

Whether you physically meet a soulmate or not, your heart connects with their heart. It might be someone of the same gender or opposite gender. It might include physical attraction and it might not. What is guaranteed that you will bask in unconditional love that enhances every corner of your being, it rids you of all the negativity and complexity of the “ego and it helps you become more you.

Your soulmate isn’t necessarily your spouse or relative or best friend. And yes you have a number of soulmates, but you are lucky if you find one. It can be rough at first, like two puzzle pieces that go together but the sharp edges are in grave need of adjusting. So do have patience. Nothing in life is ever easy.

The beauty of a soulmate is how solid and real the connection becomes. Sex or no sex, it doesn’t matter. It won’t make it stronger or weaker. All shades of blue are blue in the end.  And perhaps the strongest perks of a soul mate is the drama/jealousy-free dynamic. How can you be jealous of your ownself? Or have drama issues with yourself?

Silence will only make sense with your soulmate. You don’t need words to understand each other although communication is key, especially at the early stages of coming across each other. And the uniqueness stands in being so close to each other yet you know when exactly to give each other space. Think of it as commitment but without any chains. Can you imagine it?

We spend our lives searching for love and happiness. And even if we do, we always feel like there is something missing. Only your soulmate can complete you. You might be happily married, massively successful or simply a fully grounded human but you will never feel fulfillment until you meet a soul that you click with and suddenly everything around will start making sense.

A soulmate exists to take you higher and helps you experience emotional nirvana and an exceptional peace of mind. There are certain feelings and places that only a soulmate can take you to and make you feel. Whether its euphoria, a profound sense of security, infinite serenity, perfect companionship, unconditional love, maximum level of honesty and continuous support or simply a better sense of “Self”.

A soulmate is merely a different version of you that exists to complete you. Together you are better and apart you are simply incomplete. You are not afraid to have a conversation and you are never worried of losing them or yourself. It’s like the perfect key to a lock that opens a whole new dimension of everything. An enhancement to your senses and to the experience of “life”.

Some are lucky enough to marry their soulmates or find them in their relatives or immediate family members. But others have to search the world for them and find them in the utmost unusual and unexpected places\situations.

That sounds very good, right? Well, only if you embrace it or understand it. Unfortunately, its not like that for everybody. Some sift through life without recognizing or finding even one soulmate. While some others get frightened and run away. Some don’t understand and others prefer to stay away from its complexity, they have no idea what they are missing. Most think they are obliged to fall in love or have a sexual relationship with their soulmates, which is very wrong.

Even if you were married or in love and you came across a soulmate, that doesn’t mean betrayal or a change of heart. If you think of a soul mate as a love interest or sexual object only then you are missing the whole concept of it. A soul mate transcends beyond sexuality and love, it’s something more, much much more. A soul mate is like your spiritual compass in life.

Soulmate or not, I hope we live our lives being always consciously alerted. Have your heart opened and lean on it for insight, don’t just count on your eyes. Be kind, and kinder. Be tolerant. We can’t accept ourselves fully unless we have the ability to accept others the way they are. Being you doesn’t mean being against others. We are all one. Be brave, embrace life and others. Don’t give in to the confinements of society or people or to the ugliness of your ego. Be the soul mate you dream of finding in others. Be strong enough to recognize and embrace others, but also love yourself in a healthy way and lean on yourself.

Love, live and let live.



From Gaza with love, light and inner peace,

Omar Ghraieb

Mom: How I lost my universe

Homage to Mom: How I lost my universe

Gaza, January, “What took me so long?”, a question that tantalized me since the early morning because today marks the 18th anniversary of my mom’s death, or passing, as I like to call it. I never dared to blog about it before because its too emotional and too personal. Who knows what I will end up sharing. But since I am becoming more real and shedding my ego, I guess it’s time I open up about that life-changing state.

My mom was a typical mother in a sense of being a hard working woman who gave birth to five children and doing her best to raise them all well. But she was no typical woman. She was a Palestinian who was born in Palestine but had to become a refugee with her family due to occupation and Nakba. They ended up swinging between the Arab countries, especially Lebanon and Syria.

She married a Palestinian, a revolutionary, which left her playing the role of a single mom of five in a foreign country (Cyprus) as her husband travels and works. It wasn’t easy but she made us feel like she was invincible and could handle anything. She was a human of feelings, her heart embraced everyone and she treated everyone with love, care and tenderness.

We moved to Gaza in the late 1990s, it was hard on us but for her she was used to this shredded life. She was worried about us but also was happy that we will return to a part of occupied Palestine and reunite with my dad. Four months later, she passed away, after securely getting us to “Safety”.

I was 9, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I swear, the last few days before that day felt so weird. Her conversations with me were different, the look in her eyes was different and she had this air of worrisome surrounding her all the time. I woke up to head to school with my sister like any other day. But the weather was so gloomy, dark and rainy. The sky was trying to tell me something but I didn’t get it right away.

My older brother came to “confiscate” us from school. Yes, he literally confiscated us, we were put in a car and told we were heading home in the middle of a school day. I kept looking at the sky, it was trying to protect me but couldn’t prepare me for what I will see. The rain never stopped, if anything, the weather got worse.

My body was alerted, my instincts kept telling me that something was wrong but not in a million years did I imagine that loss. My mom was my everything. My compass, my universe and the center of everything.

There were so many people everywhere, especially in our house. I saw my mom laying there without moving. I didn’t need anyone to tell me anything. I felt a chill take over my spine and heart. I felt like the house was empty without her, even though the house was packed with people all around. I felt alone. And I have been feeling alone since then even when I am surrounded with family and friends.

Losing a parent, a mom especially, changes your whole life. It’s like walking through a dessert without a compass, or going on a pilgrimage without a destination in mind, or going through a maze in complete blindness. You lose the sense of security. You go through life always feeling like there is something missing. A permanent void opens in your heart and you just learn to live with it.

I don’t look like my mom but my soul looks like hers. I had the privilege, blessing and honor of living with her for only 9 years but she gave me love and she taught me so much that it could last for a lifetime. I feel like I was an extension of her heart and soul. She is a part of me and I am a part of her. She left earth 18 years ago, but she never left me or my heart.

They say time heals and helps you forgot. Its very true and accurate. But not when it comes to the loss of your mom. I find myself missing her more and more every year, I find myself also needing her more and more. I try to always remind myself of her face, her scent, her smile, her voice and the look of love she used to look at me with. I don’t always remember everything, it used to make me angry and make me feel like I am losing her all over again. But now I realized, I might forget some things and remember others but I will never forget how she made me feel.

I believe that I am a feminist because of her. I am also proud to be the fruit of interracial love. Everything helps make the person you become. But what I am most proud of is the authenticity she passed onto me and setting an example of how to keep your soul and heart connected in influential harmony and how to keep them in sync. She touched everyone with her love. She wasn’t my compass only, she was the compass to many of her friends and family as well.

Some people leave us but they leave so much presence behind that they are more present than people who are still alive. I hope I am making sense.

Mama, my love to you is something that resembles you. It’s a never ending spring. May you rest in peace and never leave my heart. May you keep inspiring me and may your words keep ringing in my mind. May you be proud of me a fraction of how much I am proud of being your son. If I had the choice of being your son for 9 years or being somebody else’s son for a lifetime, I will choose you because love and presence transcend beyond time. You remain my compass and my pillar of security. I always yearn for you.

I kindly ask you to please honor and love your mom, don’t take her for granted and don’t think that there is all the time in the world. You never know what might happen so show your mom all the love, respect and care she deserves. Treat her like your queen, don’t wait any occasion to make her feel special. And please, hug her and kiss her from me.



From Gaza with yearning and nostalgia,

Omar Ghraieb.

25 killed due to Israeli attacks on Gaza, Hana Shalabi, Poem

25 killed due to Israeli attacks on Gaza,Hana Shalabi,Poem 

Gaza, March 13, This isn’t knew, I know but that doesn’t make it the norm and it shouldn’t be the norm in any way. Gaza survived four continuous days of Israeli attacks that left 25 dead and 80+ injured. Among those injured, some are critical, some are children and some are women. Among those dead there were elderly, women and children. If you have a heart that enables you to claim that children, women and elderly should be killed because they live in Gaza which automatically means they are terrorists, I don’t consider you a human being. Children are children; I would never celebrate the death of Israeli child, ever.

I am not here to report news, I am sure you already watch news channels every day. I am here to tell you a story, to show you that we are humans and not just numbers. Those 25 people who got killed during Israel’s latest vicious cycle of violence against Gaza have names, they are humans. One of them is somebody’s son, other one is somebody’s grandfather, and another one is somebody’s daughter.

Saleh El Issi, 59, is a person that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Saleh worked as a watchman to a piece of land in central Gaza. Saleh is a civilian; he was targeted with two missiles from an Israeli drone that left him blown up into pieces. Saleh had a grandson, Mohamed, 6, who adore him. Mohamed was his grandpa’s favorite; he would take him for a shopping spree at the little local grocery store. Mohamed saw the drone moving and then saw two missiles falling nearby, his dad called his grandpa seconds ago to ask him to return back home because the area wasn’t safe. He was too late. Mohamed ran and saw his grandpa blown up into pieces; he is in a deep depression now.

Nayef Qarmout, 14, died after an Israeli warplanes fired a missile near a gas station Northern Gaza, Nayef was walking with a group of his friends while on their way back home from school. Nayef’s friends got injured, but he didn’t make it. Mohamed Sa’d, his best friend, said that Nayef was a civilian and too young to think about joining any militant or resistance group.

A father and daughter were also killed by an Israeli attack on Gaza. Ayoub Assaleyah, 17, he was also killed by an Israeli attack on Gaza. He was a civilian and his death left his mother devastated, she is in the hospital now after collapsing due to her little son’s death.

25 stories, 25 devastated families left behind, 80+ injured from which many are critical, homes wrecked, lives changed to the worse, children targeted, elderly targeted, women targeted and Gaza yet survives another dark period.

Let me just remind you that Gaza remains under siege, darkness, lack of power, lack of fuel, lack of gas, lack of water and when you add Israeli attacks to that it immediately equals the bad memories of Israel’s war on Gaza back in 2008.

I wonder when the world will see us as humans instead of just disposal “terrorists”? Why do we have struggle daily to grab just a little piece of normality, tranquility and some peace?

Lets jump to Hana Shalabi, I will also tell you something personal about her instead of just stating a news report about her hunger strike that she started last February (16th) to object the illegal detention of her after her release last October as a part of Shalit swap deal. A quick note before I dive more into Hana Shalabi’s story, Israel has –reportedly- killed and re-imprisoned a number of those freed prisoners as a part of Shalit swap deal. Again, if you are ok with that, then you definitely need to see a doctor to locate a heart beat for you.

Hana is one of nine children in a family of farmers in Burqin village, next to Jenin. On 29 September 2005, Hana’s brother Samer was killed by Israeli forces during an incursion in the village. He had been released from prison for only three months after spending nine months in prison when a group of soldiers came to their farm to re-arrest him and instead shot and killed him and his close friend.

After being released from prison on 18 October, Hana planned to study nursing at Al-Rawda College in Nablus. As she was re-arrested less than four months later, she did not have time to enroll. Ten days after Hana announced her hunger strike, her dad and mom started a hunger strike too. All three are suffering from a deteriorating health that gets worse every day; all three have their lives at risk just to stand against injustice and illegal detention.
Please, go to google and learn more about Hana Shalabi. Decide, on your own, on how you want to help her. Either by telling her story, or signing a petition, or writing about her, and\or any other way you see fit. I will ask you to do your homework, decide the way and then research resources. You will become closer and more personal to Hana, instead of me directing you to links and ways.

And finally, I would like to share a poem that I wrote -rapidly- today. After four days of Israeli attacks on Gaza, the stress caught up to me today and I felt frustrated. I needed a way to let out my anger, frustration and sadness so I wrote this poem. Here it is:

Let me carry your soul
Gently to the sky
May it rest there
What happened to you was inhuman
What happened to you was unfair
May your death bring spring
May your death vanquish despair
May time ease your mother’s cries
Freedom is born when tyranny dies
May your impact heal your mother’s heart
May cruelty end and humanity start
May you rest well
May you smile
In heaven, may you dwell
For victory will come even after awhile
May you be the last sacrifice
May your death bring peace
Your journey was not futile
Your blown up pieces
Collected a homeland
To say the least
Let the birds sing a song
Let the wind sing along
Let us celebrate
The departure of a soul
That led to salvation
For humankind and all
Let this spark ignite a revolution
Let us merge into evolution
Let the departed soul
Be our solution
May we never let you down
When you look down
At us
May we make you proud
May our inner screams
Shake the world with sound
May our inner screams break walls and chains
For the sun will come up
After the sky rains

From Gaza with love,

Omar - March 13th \ 2012