Back to Basics: Stay true to yourself

Back to Basics: Stay true to yourself

Gaza, I decided to go back to basics, not only in writing, but also in many aspects of my life. Since school days, I dreamt of being a journalist who gives the world compelling human stories and I pursued it immediately. I started this blog as a little cozy place where I can be me and write to myself and to a few others who would be interested in seeing how I unfold with time. I used writing as my therapy.

Then the world forces you to evolve and mature, if I may say. You lose your breath trying to catch up, sidetracked by people who want to mold you in whatever shape they see fit. I was pushed to obsess over viewership, I was told my writing wasn’t "professional enough", some said my style is too simple pushing me to become a little pretentious and some others wanted to just break me down saying they had my best interest in mind. Yeah right.

I caved in. I started writing for an American news agency. I started using complicated words found on a simple Google search of "Complex writing glossary". I started checking the views every two minutes. Everybody around me succeeded in influencing me, and I was eager to please. I started feeling fancy.

I got high on the hype of being published on prestigious websites. I started abandoning my aesthetic and slowly lost my voice to please others and fight less with editors.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t happy even though my dream came true. I was making money out of writing compelling human stories to have them manipulated by editor, but at least I was attending to everyone's image of who\how I should be.

Soon enough, after draining battles of discussing my writing rates and vicious fights with editors who could find no mistakes in my writing yet broke my style and voice down until it was irrelevant and what they published sounded like nothing I would have written.

I detached myself from writing in what felt like a painful slow progression, I decided not to write for money and I just lost the passion for it. What was once my remedy and joy ride turned out to be my misery and nightmare. I tried going back to writing after a while, but every time I did, my hands froze and my mind went into a complete shutdown mode. After I failed my talent, it decided to fail me. "Fair enough", I thought to myself.

My last blog post was nearly two years ago, yet people still emailed me and told me –Both in person and online- that they read my blog. I felt constantly embarrassed and flabbergasted, why would people still be interested?

I started reminiscing on the old days when I only wanted to write to fulfill my passion and perhaps inspire one person at least. I remembered how writing was a joyful experience of artistic release and a breath of fresh air. The days when viewership didn’t matter and all I cared about was writing and nothing else. It brought a smile to my face and reignited a spark inside me.

The last three years have been rough. Too many changes, drastic ups and downs and I lost myself in the process of what I thought was "The natural progression". I only started recently to slowly gain my old self back and it feels good. I closed a chapter and started a fresh one. Here I am, back to writing to myself and to whoever is willing to read, even if it was only one person in any part of the world, I am writing for you and me.

I am back to offer the same narrative of rawness and realness I once was known for, and my dorky  humor. I am back to share what is happening on ground but also to reflect a positive tone. I am back to my beginning days when I wrote for the sake of writing not caring how personal it gets or how crazy I sound. I am back because nobody has the right to own my voice or shut me up or control me. I am back because many people miss the human and relatable feel in my writings. I am back to prove that nothing is worth giving up on your talent for. I am back to tell you to keep believing, keep being you and always listen to your gut and I promise you it will pay off when you least expect it.

Consider this as a wakeup call to go against submitting to the norm, or what people expect from you or want you to be. Think of it as a plea for you not to give up, not from a preacher but from a person who went through it and knows how it feels. Take it as invitation for me and you to embark on a new journey where we stay true to ourselves and to everyone around us.

The happiness you waste your life looking for exists within, which makes external affirmation useless so never sacrifice who you are for someone else. Every person in your life might leave you for any reason, all you have is yourself so own it and work on it. Be your own person.

Together in good and bad,

Omar Ghraieb 

The Art of "Soul Mating"

The Art of "Soul Mating"

Gaza, January, We grow up with preconceived notions about many definitions in life. But most of us reach a phase in life where we start asking big questions and resorting to spirituality in order to help us make sense of the life we are living in such a rapidly interchangeable world. 

As you start looking inwards and unfolding your layers, you embark on a very exciting yet frightening journey of discovery and soul searching. You come face to face with your ego and if you break it then you will meet your soul and although you had it since you were born, you feel like you are getting to know it all over again. Then we start wondering about soul mates and soul mating.

The official technical definition of a soulmate is a human with whom you share a natural and profound affinity with, invincible kinship of spirit and mutual attraction (not necessarily physical or sexual). That definition is very accurate, but not until you feel it and go through it you are able to come up with your own understanding and definition of what a soulmate is or means. At first, it feels like you are heavily drawn to someone in a way that you cant explain, then this dilemma explains everything. Life is weird, isn’t it?

Many thinkers, philosophers, writers, gurus and others delved into the state of having\finding a soul mate and shared their own point of view about it. Paulo Coelho, for example, wrote in “Brida” saying that only a few people can recognize their soulmates by seeing a light in their eyes or on their left shoulder. I agree on the eyes part, the eyes are the window to the soul. But you can’t expect from all the people to see “light”.

My personal belief is that we are all but shreds or shards of the same soul. We are taught that we have only one half and one soulmate. I beg to differ. I believe we have many soul mates and we all are like puzzle pieces. If we are all combined in the right way, we make one soul. One entity.

I am no spiritual guru, I don’t go into deep meditations and I haven’t seen any other worlds. Atleast not yet. But I believe there are many ways to spot your soulmate, some of which I don’t know yet some I do know about. Ofcourse, you can spot them threw recognizing a light in their eyes or an aura around them. But the most effective and powerful way is the heart.

Whether you physically meet a soulmate or not, your heart connects with their heart. It might be someone of the same gender or opposite gender. It might include physical attraction and it might not. What is guaranteed that you will bask in unconditional love that enhances every corner of your being, it rids you of all the negativity and complexity of the “ego and it helps you become more you.

Your soulmate isn’t necessarily your spouse or relative or best friend. And yes you have a number of soulmates, but you are lucky if you find one. It can be rough at first, like two puzzle pieces that go together but the sharp edges are in grave need of adjusting. So do have patience. Nothing in life is ever easy.

The beauty of a soulmate is how solid and real the connection becomes. Sex or no sex, it doesn’t matter. It won’t make it stronger or weaker. All shades of blue are blue in the end.  And perhaps the strongest perks of a soul mate is the drama/jealousy-free dynamic. How can you be jealous of your ownself? Or have drama issues with yourself?

Silence will only make sense with your soulmate. You don’t need words to understand each other although communication is key, especially at the early stages of coming across each other. And the uniqueness stands in being so close to each other yet you know when exactly to give each other space. Think of it as commitment but without any chains. Can you imagine it?

We spend our lives searching for love and happiness. And even if we do, we always feel like there is something missing. Only your soulmate can complete you. You might be happily married, massively successful or simply a fully grounded human but you will never feel fulfillment until you meet a soul that you click with and suddenly everything around will start making sense.

A soulmate exists to take you higher and helps you experience emotional nirvana and an exceptional peace of mind. There are certain feelings and places that only a soulmate can take you to and make you feel. Whether its euphoria, a profound sense of security, infinite serenity, perfect companionship, unconditional love, maximum level of honesty and continuous support or simply a better sense of “Self”.

A soulmate is merely a different version of you that exists to complete you. Together you are better and apart you are simply incomplete. You are not afraid to have a conversation and you are never worried of losing them or yourself. It’s like the perfect key to a lock that opens a whole new dimension of everything. An enhancement to your senses and to the experience of “life”.

Some are lucky enough to marry their soulmates or find them in their relatives or immediate family members. But others have to search the world for them and find them in the utmost unusual and unexpected places\situations.

That sounds very good, right? Well, only if you embrace it or understand it. Unfortunately, its not like that for everybody. Some sift through life without recognizing or finding even one soulmate. While some others get frightened and run away. Some don’t understand and others prefer to stay away from its complexity, they have no idea what they are missing. Most think they are obliged to fall in love or have a sexual relationship with their soulmates, which is very wrong.

Even if you were married or in love and you came across a soulmate, that doesn’t mean betrayal or a change of heart. If you think of a soul mate as a love interest or sexual object only then you are missing the whole concept of it. A soul mate transcends beyond sexuality and love, it’s something more, much much more. A soul mate is like your spiritual compass in life.

Soulmate or not, I hope we live our lives being always consciously alerted. Have your heart opened and lean on it for insight, don’t just count on your eyes. Be kind, and kinder. Be tolerant. We can’t accept ourselves fully unless we have the ability to accept others the way they are. Being you doesn’t mean being against others. We are all one. Be brave, embrace life and others. Don’t give in to the confinements of society or people or to the ugliness of your ego. Be the soul mate you dream of finding in others. Be strong enough to recognize and embrace others, but also love yourself in a healthy way and lean on yourself.

Love, live and let live.



From Gaza with love, light and inner peace,

Omar Ghraieb

Mom: How I lost my universe

Homage to Mom: How I lost my universe

Gaza, January, “What took me so long?”, a question that tantalized me since the early morning because today marks the 18th anniversary of my mom’s death, or passing, as I like to call it. I never dared to blog about it before because its too emotional and too personal. Who knows what I will end up sharing. But since I am becoming more real and shedding my ego, I guess it’s time I open up about that life-changing state.

My mom was a typical mother in a sense of being a hard working woman who gave birth to five children and doing her best to raise them all well. But she was no typical woman. She was a Palestinian who was born in Palestine but had to become a refugee with her family due to occupation and Nakba. They ended up swinging between the Arab countries, especially Lebanon and Syria.

She married a Palestinian, a revolutionary, which left her playing the role of a single mom of five in a foreign country (Cyprus) as her husband travels and works. It wasn’t easy but she made us feel like she was invincible and could handle anything. She was a human of feelings, her heart embraced everyone and she treated everyone with love, care and tenderness.

We moved to Gaza in the late 1990s, it was hard on us but for her she was used to this shredded life. She was worried about us but also was happy that we will return to a part of occupied Palestine and reunite with my dad. Four months later, she passed away, after securely getting us to “Safety”.

I was 9, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I swear, the last few days before that day felt so weird. Her conversations with me were different, the look in her eyes was different and she had this air of worrisome surrounding her all the time. I woke up to head to school with my sister like any other day. But the weather was so gloomy, dark and rainy. The sky was trying to tell me something but I didn’t get it right away.

My older brother came to “confiscate” us from school. Yes, he literally confiscated us, we were put in a car and told we were heading home in the middle of a school day. I kept looking at the sky, it was trying to protect me but couldn’t prepare me for what I will see. The rain never stopped, if anything, the weather got worse.

My body was alerted, my instincts kept telling me that something was wrong but not in a million years did I imagine that loss. My mom was my everything. My compass, my universe and the center of everything.

There were so many people everywhere, especially in our house. I saw my mom laying there without moving. I didn’t need anyone to tell me anything. I felt a chill take over my spine and heart. I felt like the house was empty without her, even though the house was packed with people all around. I felt alone. And I have been feeling alone since then even when I am surrounded with family and friends.

Losing a parent, a mom especially, changes your whole life. It’s like walking through a dessert without a compass, or going on a pilgrimage without a destination in mind, or going through a maze in complete blindness. You lose the sense of security. You go through life always feeling like there is something missing. A permanent void opens in your heart and you just learn to live with it.

I don’t look like my mom but my soul looks like hers. I had the privilege, blessing and honor of living with her for only 9 years but she gave me love and she taught me so much that it could last for a lifetime. I feel like I was an extension of her heart and soul. She is a part of me and I am a part of her. She left earth 18 years ago, but she never left me or my heart.

They say time heals and helps you forgot. Its very true and accurate. But not when it comes to the loss of your mom. I find myself missing her more and more every year, I find myself also needing her more and more. I try to always remind myself of her face, her scent, her smile, her voice and the look of love she used to look at me with. I don’t always remember everything, it used to make me angry and make me feel like I am losing her all over again. But now I realized, I might forget some things and remember others but I will never forget how she made me feel.

I believe that I am a feminist because of her. I am also proud to be the fruit of interracial love. Everything helps make the person you become. But what I am most proud of is the authenticity she passed onto me and setting an example of how to keep your soul and heart connected in influential harmony and how to keep them in sync. She touched everyone with her love. She wasn’t my compass only, she was the compass to many of her friends and family as well.

Some people leave us but they leave so much presence behind that they are more present than people who are still alive. I hope I am making sense.

Mama, my love to you is something that resembles you. It’s a never ending spring. May you rest in peace and never leave my heart. May you keep inspiring me and may your words keep ringing in my mind. May you be proud of me a fraction of how much I am proud of being your son. If I had the choice of being your son for 9 years or being somebody else’s son for a lifetime, I will choose you because love and presence transcend beyond time. You remain my compass and my pillar of security. I always yearn for you.

I kindly ask you to please honor and love your mom, don’t take her for granted and don’t think that there is all the time in the world. You never know what might happen so show your mom all the love, respect and care she deserves. Treat her like your queen, don’t wait any occasion to make her feel special. And please, hug her and kiss her from me.



From Gaza with yearning and nostalgia,

Omar Ghraieb.

God in me VS. God in sky

God in me VS. God in sky

Gaza, September 30, At 5:30 am the sun starts weaving its rays around the velvety blue sky so slowly and carefully here in Gaza, light starts penetrating the world until it illuminate it. Usually, when I cant sleep at night and if I am nervous or going through something I turn to one of my house's windows to have a 101 conversation with god. I'm this kind of person who has long conversations with god and the spirits of dead people, I talk to my mom's and grandma's pictures whenever I miss them. Some think its crazy while others -like me- think that these conversations will be heard by god and\or the dead people we talk to.

My biggest relief comes when I open a window on a very cold wintery night and talk to god while the rain splashes on my face and the chilly wind penetrates my bones while its still dark outside and everybody is asleep but me and god. I become so honest, real and articulate. I bond with god and call me crazy but I feel like god hears me. I do it in summer also but I prefer it in winter.

Today isn’t a wintery day, but with all the craziness I am going through regarding where I stand in my life right now, I felt like I needed a conversation with god. I needed this conversation so bad especially after the endless nervousness regarding the US visa procedures and my trip to NEW YORK. For others, it might be just a trip or just a UN media training or an experience or a break or their own interpretation of such a trip. For me, the case is very very very different.

I have obsessed about New York after watching allot of good, bad and horrendous American shows of all kinds. After reading about New York, I felt like I relate to this city in allot of ways. New York has many sides: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens and numerous other shades and faces. I have many sides too. New York is dynamic and artistic and I am dynamic and artistic in my own way. For me, New York is a dream-come-true of a city that dreams come true in. And I want to go there so bad. New York is the city of dreamers and I have big dreams.

After I left MSF, I landed many job interviews. Some I liked and others I disliked and decided to run in the opposite direction before\if things progressed. During September, I felt like time is passing by so slowly, but now that we are one step shy of October I feel like time is flying by so rapidly. It's crazy, I know, but it just shows you how crazy my life is right now. What if I get a good job offer right now? What will a job offer that will make me say no to New York look like? Should I say no to all job offers if I really want New York? Do I want New York more than landing a good job here in Gaza? Are five weeks worth turning job offers down? Should I just boycott all job interviews and offers for NYC's sake? What if don’t make it to NYC? And a thousand other depressing question that I overwhelm myself with during this dramatic period of my life.

While others are taking it easy, I am freaking out. UN sent us the housing options that turned out to be only one housing option which is a box-sized room in YMCA Manhattan. The location is VERY strategic but the place is horrible for me. Unfortunately, I am not this kind of person who doesn’t mind sleeping on somebody's floor and showering in public bathrooms.

I am comfortable with who I am but I wouldn’t deny that I wish I was this kind of person. Staying at a room that fits only for a small bed and sharing a bathroom with 30 other rooms for me is simply UNACCEPTABLE. Call me a brat, call me privileged, call me soft skinned, call me sissy or call me whatever you like I don’t care. I wouldn’t live properly if I didn’t stay at a place that had a good-sized bedroom with your own private bathroom. And in case you don’t know this: Prices of places to stay at in Manhattan ARE RIDICULOUSLY high. So that adds to my dilemma. I wasn’t expecting the UN to place us at the trump tower but I didn’t see that YMCA place coming either. So, I will keep searching till I find something affordable and comfortable at the same time. Wish me luck please.

And an epiphany that I went through this morning was: I am still not over my grandmother's death. Ok, by now you are confused and wondering why the hell are you reading this depressing and confusing blog post!!!! I agree with you LOL I am wondering the same thing. I strayed away from the main issue.

So after feeling all of what you just read above, I needed to resort to god and have a good conversation with him.  I went to every window on every side of my house in Gaza, but all windows were blocked. I can no longer see the sky from any window of my house due to the magnitude of the construction work that has been done around us and infront of us and behind us and on every side and…. .

It just hit me that I can no longer communicate with god from any window of my house. I got sad and angry. I know god is inside of us and we don’t need to look at the sky to talk to him. I know that we can see god in the pedals of a flower, in the stream of flowing water, in birds and animals and basically in everything that he created. But just like sometimes we seek people's recognition of how good we are, although we know we are damn good, I needed to look at the sky when I talk to god today because I needed to feel his presence so I can feel good and bathe in relief. I always talk to the voice of god in me but sometimes I just need to be vulnerable enough to look at the sky above and just vent out to god.

I thought of going downstairs but I decided not to. Because I would not be able to have a loud and verbal conversation with god unless I don’t mind sending the neighbors a message of how crazy I am, and I do. And because its school time and many children will be crowding the whole area walking their way to school.

While I was writing this blog post, I was sitting on my bed and it was nearly 7 am. I thought of taking a break but I was worried about the daily power outage that might happen any second now and till this second I don’t know if I would be able to publish this post or complete it now. I looked out of the opened window, and to my surprise, from my current eye-level there is a small space of sky visible and its all what I need.

I thought I wont be able to talk to god anymore and look up to the sky while doing it. Apparently I still can. Maybe not for long, but for now I still can. And its enough, so I call for celebration.

Ok, I don’t know why I felt like sharing this lame blog post with you all. I just did. Please don’t hate me if I wasted your time and I promise that I am not always that silly or lame SO PLEASE COME BACK AND CHECK MY BLOG FREQUENTLY AND DON’T RUN AWAY.

I wish you all a happy day wherever you are and I decided to send a prayer for every person struggling in this world today, wherever he\she is, and whatever he\she might be going through. We are all connected, we are all one. May we all live in peace, love and harmony. May we all exude, share, live, give, appreciate and seek happiness.

Love,

Omar from Gaza

From Gaza to New York – Phase 1: Survival

 From Gaza to New York – Phase 1: Survival

When you usually ask people about their hobbies many of them will mention traveling. I don’t blame them, who wouldn’t enjoy traveling the world and exploring new cultures? I know I would. But if you live in Gaza, traveling can never be your hobby unless you want to kid yourself.

I was shortlisted, chosen and invited by the UN (United Nation) Headquarters in New York for media training. The Palestine, Decolonization and Human Rights Section,

UN Department of Public Information, usually invites Palestinian media practitioners every year for 5 weeks of media training.

I feel like the timing of this is perfect. 2012 has been an overwhelming year, allot of good and bad, but I did achieve allot. I am among the top 5 rankings of the 100 most influential Palestinians in Social media next to names like: Mourid Al Barghouti, Ali Abu Nimah and many other awesome Palestinian public figures. Its surreal and humbling but most of all it gives you reassurance that you have a voice and you are on the right path in getting it heard.

Ofcourse, I was ecstatic. I have been craving New York for nearly a year now and I cant stop saying how much I want to visit it, then the UN training came and actually offered me the chance of making my New York dream come true.

So if you were NOT Palestinian and NOT living in Gaza: All you have to do is visit the nearest US consulate, fill the visa application then head to the airport on the day of the assigned travelling trip. But gladly, I am Palestinian and I do live in Gaza. 

So my anticipated trip to New York is divided into a number of phases. Phase 1 is all about survival. Taking it one step at a time but having a nervous breakdown every day. UN provides everything but the US visa, obtaining the visa is our responsibility and I am sure you know how hard obtaining the US visa is.

First, you have to choose between applying for the visa through Jerusalem or Cairo. Its like choosing between dying by a lethal injection or dying by an electric chair. If you choose Jerusalem: It will be hard or even impossible to get an Israeli permit, even if you do, you won't guarantee passing Erez checkpoint (linking between Gaza and the West Bank) peacefully. And you cant guarantee that the Israeli authorities will issue the permit before your actual appointment.

If you choose Cairo: You are risking losing so much time and spending so much effort. You would have to go through Rafah border a couple of times to reach Cairo and apply for the visa and wait for your appointment or maybe head back Gaza and visit Cairo again when the appointment time comes if there is too much time in between. You cant guarantee the always-closed Rafah border, you cant guarantee reaching Cairo and you cant guarantee managing to head back in time for your appointment.

The good news is: Even if you went through all that, you cant guarantee actually obtaining the visa. Good news? Who said good news? I think my dark humor is kicking in.

Say you obtained the visa by a miracle, YOU ARE NOT OVER YET. You still have to cross Rafah border, and what do you know about Rafah border? Aside from the endless hours of waiting on the Egyptian side for no legitimate reason, and aside from all the humiliation you will be showered by the Egyptian border soldiers, you might not be able to guarantee your entry to Egypt and catching your plane on time. Or they might simply ask you to turn back and go home without giving any explanations.

While people worry about going shopping before they travel, we worry about making constant traveling arrangements to guarantee that we actually reach New York.

Whenever I get nervous about the border, the airplane trip, reaching New York, the UN training, thinking about possible futuristic inner conflicts about staying there or coming back, I just stop and remind myself: "Omar, you still haven’t finished your visa application and even when you do you might not be able to attend the appointment, and even if you do you might not get the visa". So, I calm down again for a few seconds and promise myself to take things slower but then I go to being nervous a little afterwards.

This is the price you have to pay when you live in Gaza, a besieged impoverished costal enclave that is smothered by Israel and Egypt is there to tighten Israel's grip. Nothing is guaranteed. Instead of daydreaming, shopping and planning, you just sit and wait and contemplate and wish and hope and work and push and try and apply and ask and…… .

You will have only the last minute to worry about shopping, obtaining international health insurance, packing and all these stuff.

Stay tuned for Phase 2: THE VISA SAGA….. If and whenever that happens.

Love, support, peace, humanity, equality and hugs (and kisses don’t hurt),

Omar from Gaza

Eyes Language: Eyes can whisper

Eyes Language: Eyes can whisper

Eyes have capacious importance that surpasses the fact of being an organ and one of the human being's five senses (sight). "Eyes are the window to the soul", I can sense how cliché this sounds when writing it, but hear me out because I am about to tell you more about this cliché.

Let me start by mentioning a very very personal confession here: Those who know me closely know that I rarely make eye contact. Yes, I look at people's mouths when they talk instead of engaging in eye contact. Some noticed while other didn’t, some dared to ask you while others refrained and some thought it was strange while others didn’t care.

The reason behind my previous confession is that I believe in Eyes language, therefore, I understand the parlance of the eyes very clearly, too clear for my own sake. Looks equal mental images in my world, every mental image has or will have a meaning one day so you might want to hold onto it.

See, Chemistry is determined or ignited by a connection that was born after a sparkling eye-contact that takes place between two people. If we look closely or deeply into someone's eye, we tend to explore their soul and not only their outer looks.

Never underestimate a look you give people because people usually get what you mean by it. We are humans and most humans are judgmental, there is a look people give when they judge you that usually comes with\without a frown and maybe some eyebrow action.

Some people are controlling and they like to cast this look of fear in order to intimidate people or bully them. You might be laughing after reading the past line, but trust me it does exist and it usually works (seen it with my own eyes).

Sometimes you won't notice it, but a person might be gazing into your eyes giving you an invitation to know him\her better. If you understand the eyes language then you might be finding a catch –friend\husband\wife\buddy-, but if you don’t then you might be missing an opportunity of a life time. But hey be prudent and wary and don’t over look, you might be mistaken as a stalker. Equilibrium is the answer.  

Certain kind of people doesn't know how to lie, yes, don’t laugh. But it's not because they are angels and others are demons, it's simply because their eyes are scandalous. It will take you two seconds to spot their spuriousness. They can't help it, because eyes never change; only we do.

Some people like to take a deeper look at everything, whether people or surroundings, just to help everything sink in. Yes, it sounds overwhelming but it helps you pay attention more and notice things you don’t usually notice (personally tried). On the other hand, some eyes do shimmer with honesty. 

Those who like to be memorable tend to make long, deep and meaningful eye-contact. Somehow a person will be considered "random" if you just saw him\her walking by or something, but if you made eye-contact then it will turn into a mental image that might\might not be summoned later (or appear spontaneously).

Eye-connections come in so many types. The most infamous one is "flirting". While some people manipulate words to flirt, others choose to flirt with their eyes. You can't imagine how many signals you can send with your eyes and how much you can tell. Again, please be careful, securitizing sometimes might turn you into being condescending and rancorous.

Another type of eye-connection is the "friendly" type where you aren’t flirting –not even innocently flirting- but instead you are just being sweet and friendly (and boring, according to some people). But hey, be true to yourself and your aesthetic. If you like to make eye-contact to be friendly then so be it.

Third type is "love". "Love at first sight", another cliché I bore you with but come on, you know that it's true and it happens\ed (if not with you, then with someone you know). Yes, a love story can be built around looks, and sometimes looks only until you both are ready to take it further.  This type can take so much time or just one glare and Voilà you find yourself in love with someone without knowing why and\or how. Eyes are that powerful and looks are that influential. Sometimes you can fall into someone's eyes so deeply that the world goes empty, you will see only this person while the world stops and it will take you some time to snap out of it.


Eyes can also reflect hatred, danger, envy, resentment, deceit, lust or desire (and numerous other things). You might feel like asking me: "Omar, how can I know what the look means?", and my answer will be: there is a natural filter inside of us that helps us determine the hidden intentions that occur behind the look. Some have stronger filter than others. And sometimes it also relates to trusting your instinct or ignoring it especially when your body is trying to give you signals\warnings about a person you know\meet\see\gaze at. Looks are usually accompanied with facial expressions, these expressions are tools to help you in decoding the looks.


Sometimes a person can look at you because they like you, as simple as it is. Embrace it and don’t always pursue it because it might not always be serious. "Examine the water before you dive in", my third and last cliché (I promise).


The last type that I want to mention is: "Mysterious". Yes, people sometimes give you mysterious looks. Even if you are an expert at the Eyes Language, you just won't be able to figure them out no matter how hard you try. From a personal experience: Don’t exhaust yourself in trying to understand those mysterious looks and don’t over think them, sometimes they are mysterious simply because the person himself\herself doesn’t know what they want\mean so they cast those mysterious looks reflecting their inner state. They might not know what they want from you or they might not even know what they want in life so they spontaneously show their incoherence\disorientation with their eyes. Don’t take it personally, just move on.


Eyes tell secrets that people don’t dare say so make sure you listen and pay attention. Eyes are able to whisper even louder than your lips.   

Silence : Are you listening?

Silence : Are you listening?

Gaza, May 19, I have always came across “Silence” in my life, each time in a different form. It became a companion (rather than just a friend), a goal (sometimes) and an intriguingly opulent space. I discovered that Silence can become anything you want it to be, ofcourse that doesn’t mean its easily manipulated because sometimes it can be an abhorrent burden.

Silence is just like air, you cant see it or feel it, but you can definitely sense it and hear it if you paid attention. 

Just like anything in life, Silence can be used in a good way or a bad way.

Silence can bounce between gratitude, shame, guilt and\or empathy. Silence is wisdom when talk is cheap.

Silence can be a hint of dalliance, the beginning of a love affair, the end of a long relationship, a manifestation of certain good or bad feelings or just a way out. Some consider Silence as a symptom of defeat while others consider Silence as a sign of power.

“Actions speak louder than words”, is a popular saying that we often use excessively, but what we fail to mention is that Silence can be as powerful as actions and words. It can ruin a person, relationship, family, career, and\or a reputation if\when misinterpreted. It can also thicken the air when it tries to delicately hold what is left unsaid.

Silence can encapsulate endless untold stories and\or secrets but it can also refer to tiresome.

While some people consider Silence as a devilish act, others will resort to Silence to politely disagree with an elderly (whether a parent or a person you highly respect). It can also become the face of helplessness or a wicked punishment to someone that hurt us. Silence can be an alarming warning of anger.

People are usually Silent when they are contemplating or planning ahead. Silence can be the preparation of a pleasant surprise or the mischievous intent that will lead to atrocities and\or crimes of any nature.

In the Arabic culture, Silence is a sign of consent. When the bride-to-be is asked by her father or the sheikh if she approves or disapproves marrying the man who came to offer his love, Silence is a sign of consent. It can also be a sign of oppression if the bride-to-be is afraid to voice her real feelings. Silence can be an act of fear.

Silence can represent an asylum for people who assign it as their comfort zone. It can also be the mantra of true love for you don’t need to speak allot if there is a direct lane of feelings between you and your beloved. It can also refer to a lack of communication or even a lack of trust.

Silence has a voice that you can hear if you listen carefully. It can be singsonging calmness or containing bad news or an act of carelessness.

Silence can be a privilege that you need to work hard to experience, or a luxury that you yearn to indulge yourself in, or a self-defense mechanism that you use as a shield from being hurt or just a way to recuperate from a deep emotional wound caused by someone you love or a prison that you find yourself stuck in.

Silence can be the result of dead emotions. Silence can also be a way of appreciating everything around you.

Silence can be caused by injustice. Silence can mean cowardice.  Silence can impersonate a man with a wounded pride. Silence can become a solution to disguise confabulation.

Silence can shout: I love you or I cant stand you or I need my distance or I need to stay away for your own good.

Hence, Silence can also showcase inner peace or the exemplary rituals of a spiritual prayer that you might be performing for god in a ceremony that includes only you and god.

Silence can be easily molded but it should never be underestimated or taken lightly because it can hide lifetimes and worlds.

As I turn 25 today: 25 things I am grateful for

As I turn 25 today: 25 things I am grateful for

Gaza, February 28, I would start with expressing how much I like my birthday's date but I would sound self centered. And I am not here to sound self-centered; I am here to announce my decision to bathe in gratitude this year on my birthday. I reached 25 today and although I have MUCH MORE than 25 things to be grateful for, I will choose my best 25.

My close friends have seen how tangible my transformation has been, but for those who don’t know me: I have changed allot along the past few months. 2011, was a year that I will never forgot. It was revolutionary in every sense that this meaning can hold, leaders were toppled, people demanded their freedom, horrendous bloodsheds and it was a clear sign that the world is changing. 

Apparently, I was following that trend “Un-intentionally”. I ended up changing too. Sometimes, I don’t even recognize my past self. Don’t get me wrong, the real Omar is still there and the old Omar is still camping on me but the new Omar is a spontaneous operation that started happening and still is.

I like 25 –Not because the numbers are nice or it’s the half of 50 and all this crap-, I like 25 because I can honestly say that now: I know myself a little better, I know the world a little better, I know god a little better, I know what I want a little better and I know you a little better. I appreciate things more, I enjoy things more, I no longer tolerate drama or people’s crap and I no longer seek validation from people who just wanna use me. I am becoming who I am, I am meant to be and I want to be. For me, this is big.

I was frightened to death from this transformation because as Maya Angelou once said: “If you know better, you would\should\could do better”, she is right. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do better if I knew better but GLADLY I was wrong. I try and will try to do better now that I know better, and I will always seek more knowledge to know better so I can do better even if that scares the crap out of me. I was also afraid because my change will upset many close people to my heart –and it did- and I might lose them but it will be their choice –and it is- not mine. He\she who doesn’t accept me for who I am, doesn’t deserve me –This is my new mantra-.

Ok time to shut up now and state the 25 things I thank god for –No matter how much I thank god it will never be enough for he has given me endless blessings, gifts and things to be grateful for-, here we go:

1-      My faith and how it gets 10 times stronger after a little weakness.

2-      My Vulnerability that keeps me grounded, human, humble and grateful.

3-      My family because you might lose anything but you will never lose your family.

4-      My mom who passed away when I was 9 but lived in my heart since then, she planted in me seeds that will always grow, which means she will always be with me J love you mom.

5-      Nano and his upcoming brother\sister (Adnan Abdullah a.k.a. Nano who is my nephew and the best gift that god and dareen –my sister- gave me).

6-      Ziad, My best friend. Because no matter what happens, we will always watch each other’s backs and be there for each other.

7-      All my friends (class mates, social media friends, university friends, ALL MY FRIENDS EVERYWHERE because every1 of them made a difference in my life).

8-      My Grandma who raised me like a son and a grandchild and was always there for me. <3

9-      My life in Cyprus Island that might not be long but left positive precipitations that will stay forever with me and made a huge impact on my personality.

10-   Being Palestinian because I would wanna be Palestinian if I wasn’t. I would be a different person if I wasn’t Palestinian. It made me who I am now.

11-   Palestine because this entity and existence taught me love, existence, UNARMED resistance and LIFE.

12-   Writing because the gift of writing gave me the ability to slowly discover myself and my voice and more importantly have my voice heard and express myself freely. And poetry, because it helped give my imaginations so many other and renewable dimensions.

13-   Latin Patriarchate School and Holly family school because the 1st gave me the best years of my childhood life with the best friends, teachers and school ever. And the 2nd meant the transformation from childhood to adolescence and a whole new phase with the same awesome friends and teachers.

14-   Social media for helping us reach out to people, participate in global revolutions and spread the truth about Palestine and Gaza.

15-   Gaza. Imagine you were walking in a gallery and a breathtaking portrait caught your eye and you couldn’t stop looking at it. Infact, you kept coming everyday to just look at it. Well, I live in this portrait J

16-   My love for pets and animals in General because it made me more humane, hating animals can turn a person into a cruel monster. I said “CAN”, please don’t hold that against me.

17-   A little more knowledge everyday, because knowledge is power.

18-   My English language because it made my life 100 times easier than other people here in Gaza.

19-   My family’s financial status that enabled me to study at good schools, universities and be able to do some of the things that I like even though we aren’t rich. My financial status, I am not rich yet I am independent and I get to live how I want to live and do most of the things I like.

20-   My integrity that helped me make numerous friends for life without needing anything from them. Thank you god, Thank you god and Thank you god.

21-   My love for art, culture and music that introduced color to my life, without these things my life would be black and white à BORING “in my personal opinion about my life, you might be living a black and white life and enjoying it” J

22-   My laptop. My first big purchase and my best investment because it was the gate for priceless things and moments. It means allot to me.

23-   My humanity that enables my heart ache whenever I see a child crying, an elder suffering, an animal hurting, injustice ruling, oppression camping and Palestine bleeding.

24-   Change. The change that happened to me, to the world and my ability to spot positive change; seek positive change, work for a better change and thrive for a better change.

25-   Kareem. For being in my life as a second dad, friend, mentor, a person who is brutally honest with me, knows me very well, always there for me no matter what, incorporates me in his family, sets me straight, listens to me and offers me unconditional fatherly love.

Ok that’s all folks. Feel free to tell me what you are grateful for, why did you wake up smiling today? What do you wanna thank god for? …etc.

I wanna also thank you all for being a part of my birthday.

With love, gratitude, respect and hugs,

Omar from Gaza

Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all others - Cicero