Ghassan Kanafani, Good Byes, Grandma, Gaza, Palestine, Egypt, Morsi & Me

Ghassan Kanafani, Good Byes, Grandma, Gaza, Palestine, Egypt, Morsi & Me

Warning: This is very raw, emotional and looooong. 

July 8, Gaza, I don’t know from where to start. Should I try to remember the beginning or jump right to the end or just honor the middle by mention it first. I had this strong intuition that 2012 will be an eventful year, a year of unprecedented events, a year of laughter and sobs and a year that I will remember for the rest of my life. Oh boy, Its July and till now I am very right.

Let me start by honoring Ghassan Kanafani, who ignited the inspiration behind this blog post after the abandonment to my blog for a little over a month ago. Today, we commemorate the 40^th anniversary of Israel's brutal assassination of Ghassan in Beirut by blowing his car up. Yes, he had a dangerously artistic mind that overflowed with influential work that touched the hearts of numerous people around the world. He needed to be silenced.

Yet, 40 years today after his death, his voice remains stronger or even stronger than ever. His words touch me like he wrote them today to me only and his work is highly known and searched for by many people around the world. Voices like Ghassan cant be silenced.

If you want to know more about him check his website:

http://www.ghassankanafani.com/indexen.html

By now, most of you became familiar with my weirdness and eccentricity (or I hope you are). I relate to many different things, I belong to many different people\nations\things\countries and I bond with numerous things and people. Ghassan Kanafani is a special case. I remember saying: "I think I know this man", when I first saw his picture. I read allot about him and I kept feeling like I know him.

His face is so familiar, the curve of his mouth when he smiles is familiar, the way he glares is familiar, the way he thinks is familiar and the way he writes is very familiar. I feel like we were best friends or could be best friends had I been born in his Era. I feel angry sometimes because I didn’t attend his funeral. I feel jealous sometimes because I wish I was one of his friends in Gaza or outside whom he used to see and\or write to.

Here is a letter he wrote to his friend Mustafa:  

http://www.newjerseysolidarity.org/resources/kanafani/kanafani5.html

It strikes me how familiar and identical Gaza sounds in his letter. Its like he is among us now. His letter is ageless, I wonder if he ever imagined that so many years will pass but Gaza will remain Gaza. The only difference is that more blood flows in Gaza streets reflecting a red that can be felt but not seen. The debris of defeat has created a fog and more sadness camps on Gaza. Yet, more steadfastness took place and life still goes on like it went on when he wrote this letter.

For a split second, I felt like I wrote this letter or it was written to me yesterday. There is allot of Ghassan Kanafani in me and allot of me in him, I wish he was here so I could tell him that. Anyway, I'm sure his soul got my message.

Just like Ghassan, I always undergo the fiasco\inner conflict\dilemma of "should I leave or should I stay?" for the same reasons or atleast similar reasons or just my reasons.

Here is a picture of his funeral:

Starting from the end requires from me to go back to the beginning. This year started with the continuation of revolutions in the Arab world. Revolutions that I was very attached to. I wouldn’t sleep, glued to the TV watching the latest news from Tahrir and\or Syria and\or Bahrain and\or Yemen and\or Libya and ofcourse the latest news of my own country –Palestine- even though unfortunately we weren’t going through any revolutions here.

I then joined MSF's (Doctors without Borders – France) office in Gaza to live a once-in-a-live-time experience that came out of nowhere and was very unexpected. I learned things in 5 months that I couldn’t have learned in 10 years. The best and most exhausting 5 months in my life. I got a wide access to Gaza and the INGOs world here. I discovered shocking things and I witnessed good and bad things after careful observation. Yet, I felt a tremendous pride for being MSF member and MSF felt pride to have me aboard.

Its sad to see that those 5 months have come to an end but its time to move on. I will come out with endless amazing memories and people who will be my friends for life. Plus, a very worthy experience and an unimaginable honor.

On my birthday this year, my grandmother was sick and got sicker and this totally ruined my birthday. I love her so much so I couldn’t help be affected by her sickness. Her health kept declining until we were all able to see in May that she is living her last days. I kept preparing myself for the inevitable but later I learned that no matter how hard you prepare yourself, you will never be ready to lose a loved one.

On June 22^nd, Friday, I had a bath and left to my best friend's house. Before I left, I saw my sister leaning next to my grandma's bed while she is asleep and reading her Qura'an. I asked her "why?" and she said she just felt like doing it. 15 minutes after my arrival to my best friend's house, I got a call from home: "Come, something bad has happened", my heart told me that the moment I fret just happened. 

I rushed home accompanied by Ziad my best friend and I was calm. Then, out of nowhere, felt like air is abandoning my body, like I was about to dive into oblivion, like I was about to go mad, like my mind was about to explode. Half way home, in the cab, I got my first ever panic attack. I never experienced panic attacks before; I only heard about them and saw them on TV. They aren’t pretty or easy. I arrived home and saw the ambulance parked downstairs. Suddenly, I had to face the ugly truth. Teta is gone. My grandma is no longer with us. I went down from the cab, threw my bag on the floor and rushed upstairs. Teta is dead, she passed away. I realized that after 12 continuous and strong panic attacks. I thought I was prepared; my body had a different story to tell.

Numbness take over when you cant deal with a big loss. Teta wasn’t just a grandma; she was a second mother who kept us together after I lost my mom at the age of 9 and a half. After her death I felt motherless, a feeling so cruel and dark and cold that I felt a constant chill in my spine. I feel that I'm still in denial.

Farewell Grandma, you battled cancer for 13 years, you raised children and grandchildren and you taught us to love Palestine like you did. You lived a full life, you had an exceptional willpower and you kept Palestine in your heart then passed it onto ours. May you rest in peace and know that you will never ever be forgotten.

As if I wasn’t overwhelmed enough with everything around, Egypt was unstable and Morsi won the elections. Speculations here and in Egypt were flying like flocks and flocks of birds. I didn’t know what to feel. Its either Morsi or Shafiq. Bad and worse. I felt sorry for Egypt and Egyptians. I felt their frustration and showed my support.

I still crave visiting tahrir square and all my friends there. I still have respect for Egypt.

Moving on to Palestine. Hmmm I don’t know what to say. I wake up every day craving the west bank and the stolen lands of 1948. I miss Palestine. My soul yearns for Palestine. I want to visit Nazareth and all my family there. I want to visit Safad and relive all the memories that my grandma told me about it and how her heart broke when the huge expulsion of 1948 took place. She always wished and wanted to go back there one day.

I am worried about Palestine. The Palestinian cause has been and still is making a huge progress regarding awareness, BDS and such but the Palestinian cause internally is nearly lost. Palestinians are two seconds away of giving up. Our internal issues are screwed up. We are divided and I think that we require a miracle to unite and free Palestine. I hope god is listening.

Finally, I would like to thank you all for being my friends, loyal fans and having continuous interested in my blog even when life's pressures force me to abandon it for a while. I also want to thank you all for helping me be real, raw and emotional while I share my stories with you.

Eternal Gratitude,

Omar from Gaza

"Visit Palestine" poster by Franz Kraus - what does it stand for?

"Visit Palestine" poster by Franz Kraus - what does it stand for?

Gaza, March 20, I came across this “Visit Palestine” poster somewhere and I stopped to admire my homeland’s beauty. Honestly, the portrait is beautiful. The past two years have been a sole proof that when “its too good to be true, then its probably NOT true”. I took a closer look. I spotted writings in Hebrew and the name of the artist behind it. I was right. A quick note: This poster was made in 1936.

Franz Kraus, Israeli graphic designer, was the artist behind this beautiful poster. More curious than cats, I immediately turned to google to know more about Mr. krausz. Here is some info about him:

Franz Kraus (also known as Franz Krausz; 13 May 1905, St. Pölten, Austria – 1998, Tel Aviv, Israel) was an Israeli graphic designer. Kraus grew up in Graz, Austria, and claimed that his favorite place was the art studio of brother Emil Kraus. Kraus lived in Berlin 1926–33, where he eventually assumed the position of the sole graphic designer of the Friedrich Ernst Hübsch-Verlag (publisher). The job fulfilled his early desire to become an artist; he had envied brother Emil's talent. As a night student, he studied in the Reimann Schule in Berlin, the city where he met his wife-to-be Anni. Due to the frightening public antisemitic incidences there, he and Anni decided to immigrate to Palestine. (WikiPedia)

If you wish to learn more about Franz Kraus, check this WikiPedia Link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Kraus

When you take a first look, you would think Franz was a Pro-Palestinian Jew\Israeli. Think again. Yes, this portrait was done in 1936 (before the Palestinian Nakba, Foundation of Israel). Yet, Franz painted a wide range of similar portraits “celebrating” the beauty in Palestine and asking Jews everywhere to come and redeem their land. Yes, you read it well, redeem their land and yes “again” this was prior to the foundation of Israel. Some of Franz’s portraits had titles like: “Blessed Land of Israel Awaits Redemption”, “Redeem the Land”, “Zionist Pioneer - Krausz Draft”, “Yakhin Jaffa Oranges - Jordan Jaffa Oranges”, “Guide to New Palestine”, “Invest in Palestine - Build the Jewish State”, and “Eretz Israel - The Country of Our Future”.

I don’t know what redemption Franz was talking about if all those portraits –those with redemption and Zionist titles- was made between 1935 and 1936. If Israel was founded in 1948, what land do they want to redeem exactly? Ok, I wont be turning to google or WikiPedia or different links to tell you about the history of Palestine. I am not a history teacher, nor do I have the intention of giving you a lecture in history.

So, Palestine was Palestine until some Zionist Jews like Mr. Franz decided they wanted redemption. Redemption of a land that was never theirs, AGAIN Israel was founded in 1948. So Zionist Jews inside and outside of Palestine decided to expel Palestinians and take their land because they wanted redemption. Palestinians tried to fight against this ethnic cleansing but unlike Israel, we were not armed by the British occupation, so we lost. So who should ask for redemption? Prior to 1948, Israel didn’t exist, Palestine did, yet we have no right to claim that the land is ours???!!!

Franz wanted Zionist Jews to come occupy Palestine and take everything, even the name of the country they will take by force. Instead, they came and took over but changed the name into Israel. Well, he did mention Eretz Israel as the country of their future in one of his portraits. He failed to mention that it will be built on the ruins of a country, ruins of a nation and on the ruins of Palestinian corps.

Israel relied on “smuggled” Western, Soviet and Czech weapons to ethnically cleanse my people and my land. I give Israel A for repeating history in such a shockingly replicated way. They performed and still performing an on-going “holocaust” against Palestinians but we aren’t allowed to talk about it or we will be labeled as “anti-Semitic”. As if, Palestinians themselves aren’t Semites. They forced Gaza to rely on “smuggling” tunnels after imposing an unjust siege using the pretext of “Shalit”, an Israeli soldier who was released weeks ago, yet Gaza remains under SIEGE.

Ok, ready to hear something hilarious? I came across another link related to “Visit Palestine” poster that was done by Franz Kraus. The article featured David Tartakover, sixty, the graphic artist behind the appearance — or reappearance — of this poster. David is an Israeli who won a top prize for design in 2002.  He expressed his anger when he saw the same poster hung, painted and portrayed by Palestinians in the West Bank and East Jerusalem. He considered this as “Hijacking” the art of his fellow Zionist –We are talking about Franz Kraus here- and how Palestinians did it in a very cheap way.

So an Israeli has the right to feel angry and accuse us of hijacking a poster that portrayed OUR land. Yet we CAN NOT ACCUSE Israel of hijacking our land, hijacking our culture and killing civilians. Hush, you are Palestinian. You were born to die with no voice or rights.

Have you heard of this expression: “He believed his own lie”? I think it implies on Israelis.

We differentiate between a Jew and a Zionist, but its not enough. We call for peace, but its not enough. We condemn the killing of Israeli children in local accidents, but that’s not enough. We condemn the death of Jewish children in international accidents, but its not enough. We shout loudly to explain that not all Gaza’s 1,800,000+ residents are militants, but they don’t believe us and its not enough. We swear that most of us are civilians, they don’t believe us and its not enough. Its never enough. 

Its our land, we are the victims yet WE ARE OBLIGED TO ALWAYS EXPLAIN OURSELVES. We are the occupied not the occupiers. Civilians are killed here while Israel claim self defense, feel free to check Israel statistics about the number of civilians killed by Palestinian “militants” each year and you will find a simple single digit if not 0. Yet, check the number of Palestinian children killed in Gaza by Israel, the number would be so damn high.

You have to be really super dumb, brainless and idiotic to not see the truth.

Palestine existed before 1948 and exists now, yet some Israelis tell us Palestine doesn’t exist because its Israel now. Here is my message for them:

“Dears, if you steal a land from someone that doesn’t make it yours. Dear, if you decided to change the Oranges name to Apples that doesn’t make an apple out of an Orange. Dear, wake up because you are living a lie fed to you by propaganda with an agenda.”

Free Palestine.

Yours truly,

Omar from Gaza