Between Freedom & Emancipation: I found myself

Between Freedom & Emancipation: I found myself

Gaza, Ever thought about Freedom? Silly question, I know for sure that indeed you thought about it allot, but what I meant is: Have you ever looked the meaning up in the dictionary and thought about it? As you can see in the picture above, “Freedom” has several meanings. But in my personal opinion, Freedom is a feeling that only you can interpret in your own way and words. Which definition suits you from the above picture? I chose one, I will come back to it later.

As a Palestinian, I was born to seek freedom. But also as a human I was born with a thirst for freedom. Its not just about indulging in a free independent country, no, its also about setting yourself and humanity free then using this freedom to fight cruelty, poverty, inhumanity, war crimes…..etc.

Gaza is the biggest open air prison that earth has ever known, these aren’t just words, I live in Gaza, I live in that prison. Waking up every day in a besieged big open-air prison isn’t easy, thirst for freedom elevates every second and it turns into a pressure or a duty or a must or maybe all three together. I never felt unsafe in Gaza, but I never felt safe either. I never felt free but god knows that I tried so hard to find white canvases to paint freedom on, believing that freedom can be found in little details and can be sparked within little steps.

My daily routine consists of power outages, Israeli warplanes either bombing or violating the sanctity of Gaza’s sky or both, water shortages, daily news of Israel’s violation of human rights in Palestine, Palestinian prisoners on hunger strike, Fatah-Hamas division, news about Syria, Egypt and the world.

Then I traveled to the US. I lived in Manhattan for a month, I was always busy with UN media training and discovering every place I can. Suddenly, my body gets accustomed to a whole new system. Suddenly, every pressure is lifted. Suddenly, I feel like a normal human being who is living in a familiar easy place. Suddenly, I think I feel a certain definition of the word “Freedom”, I feel “improper familiarity”. Why do I feel this sensation of improper familiarity? Because I am not designed to feel like a normal human being. HELLO, I am Palestinian and I live in Gaza, if that doesn’t scream “abnormal”, I don’t know what does. And I shouldn’t feel any familiar to a place other than my homeland, especially if it’s the US which has a government that is supporting the occupation of my homeland.

I also felt guilty, I felt like I am betraying Gaza. Hell, I felt like I am betraying Palestine, all Palestinians and the Palestinian cause. How can I forget everything and just dare to feel free while my country is still occupied and my home is still besieged? HOW?

What felt like a sweet moment quickly turned into bitterness and guilt.

But “Freedom” is overpowering, let it not kid or fool you. Freedom is indeed dangerous. I couldn’t stop it or help it, I was feeling “FREE” and I felt fear clenching over my heart and taking over my body.

What happens after I go back to Gaza? Will I crave this rare sensation? Will I seek it out of Gaza instead of needing it for and in Palestine? What if I feel free out of Palestine and never in Palestine? What if freedom out of Palestine becomes a goal instead of seeking freedom inside and for Palestine? What if feeling free out of Palestine becomes a comfort zone and I end up forgetting about freeing my country?

I got confused, then angry, then frustrated and I nearly cried in the middle of a street in Manhattan’s upper east side. Yet, I kept walking.

 I felt the most free when I was alone walking around New York. I will never ever forgot the first moment of recognizing a weird sensation that was running slowly but majorly through my blood. I was walking aimlessly through the streets of Manhattan, losing track of time\place\directions. It was a Saturday and I had nothing to hold me down, I knew I would end up getting back home if I get lost anyway, so I just kept walking with nothing on my mind.

I reached a corner and was about to cross to the other side of the street, not caring where it leads me, then I stopped. Time stopped, I froze. I felt no pressure or stress, no worries or cares. I felt free. I could go wherever I want, do whatever I may and no matter what I will get back home safely at the end of the day. Is that freedom? Or is it emancipation? Or maybe both? Or I simply might be losing my mind.

I continued walking. It was a very cold but sunny day. I had my headphones in my ears, some music was jamming and I just smiled. I had many mixed emotions but I decided to confront them later.

I went to bed that day knowing that eventually I will have to face the inevitable. I need to figure out what happened with me that day and how and why I felt what I felt. I looked the word “Emancipation” up online to see if I felt any literal meanings of it. I gave up but then I came across the medical meaning of it, shown in the picture below.

Yes, that was me, I was the original homogeneous embryo. I gradually separated my mindset from Gaza and I found myself entering new fields with potential of development known as “New York”. I felt worse. I don’t want to separate gradually from Palestine and Gaza. I want to remain a loyal concerned original homogeneous embryo. I was confused, and I thought I have lost my mind already.

I found myself between “Freedom” and “Emancipation”, I found my home between them. I might feel the same feelings in other countries and cities around the world but none of them will resonate until I feel them in my own homeland (Palestine). So I had to accept how good those feelings felt and yet remind myself that I need to keep seeking freedom for my country until I feel those same exact feelings in my own homeland.

We are all born free until something or someone tries to oppress us. We are willing to spend our lifetime seeking freedom and even risk losing it for the sake of freedom.

So until Palestine is free, I won’t rest. I might travel, take breaks and cherish instantaneous freedom but I won’t give up, hopefully. My thoughts also are with Syria, Egypt and all oppressed nations around the world.

Love, peace, humanity and hugs,

Omar from Gaza

Khader Adnan: Dying to live. What will you do to help save his life?

Khader Adnan: Dying to live. What will you do to help save his life?

Imagine life was normal until one day everything changed. You woke up to find out that your father\husband\son\brother\uncle\friend was ILLEGALY detained and placed in jail. If you are a normal human being you will be shocked and devastated, the first thing that will come to your mind is to go and ask why was the person you care about detained? Am I right?

What would you do if you were told that the reason behind the detention of your loved one was “classified” and a “secret”? It doesn’t stop here. What would you feel if you were told that he will be detained for six months and then maybe sentenced for more and YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT? I know I would go crazy.

Now lets step out of imagination and let me tell you that this person actually exists, he is a human being like you and me. He has a family, friends and an actual life. His name is Khader Adnan, 33, graduate student, married with two beautiful daughters and his wife is now pregnant. He was detained ILLEGALLY by Israeli police on the bases of an unexcused illegitimate court order. Imagine being detained with illegally which means you cant be with your daughters and your wife who is expecting a new baby to be born soon. Better yet, don’t imagine. Try to think about Khader Adnan and his family and what they are going through now. He went on a hunger strike 55 days ago and since then his health has been deteriorating every second.

After the 42nd day of a hunger strike, it is expected that individuals will begin to lose their hearing and vision, and suffer bleeding in the gums, intestines, and esophagus. The body will gradually stop functioning. After the 45th day, there is a high risk of death due to vascular system collapse and/or cardiac arrest.

Each day, Khader was subjected to two three-hour interrogation sessions. Throughout the interrogation sessions, his hands were tied behind his back on a chair with a crooked back, causing extreme pain to his back. Khader notes that the interrogators would leave him sitting alone in the room for half an hour or more. Khader also suffered from additional ill-treatment. During the second week of interrogation, one interrogator pulled his beard so hard that it caused his hair to rip off. The same interrogator also took dirt from the bottom of his shoe and rubbed it on Khader's mustache as a means of humiliation.

On Friday evening 30 December 2011, Khader was transferred to Ramleh prison hospital because of his deteriorating health from his hunger strike. He was placed in isolation in the hospital, where he was subject to cold conditions and cockroaches throughout his cell. He has refused any medical examinations since 25 December, which was one week after he stopped eating and speaking. The prison director came to speak to Khader in order to intimidate him further and soldiers closed the upper part of his cell's door to block any air circulation, commenting that they would "break him" eventually.

Randa was able to visit her husband last Tuesday evening after he was transferred to Zeif hospital in Safad. Imagine seeing your husband in a hospital after being on a hunger strike for 52 days protesting his illegal detention. Randa had this to say: “A lot of the hair on his face and head has fallen off. He has not been allowed to shower or wash during all his time in detention, nor is he allowed to wear warm clothes in this cold weather. He told me he feels he’s living the last moments of his life. During my visit, my husband's heart swelled up and a medical crew neglected him for half an hour." Randa was shocked and heartbroken after she visited her husband.

I will leave you with this final thought: Imagine the brutality of being on trial in your hospital bed because you are too sick to attend the court, Israeli court actually held a session at the hospital. He is too ill because he is starving himself in protest of his illegal detention. How brutal is that?

Do you feel like you want to help Khader Adnan? Help save his life? Because human life matters and its time we acknowledged that? Do you want to save a father\son\husband\brother\uncle\friend? Do you want to save somebody’s life? Do you want to act against injustice and illegal detention? Well guess what? You can actually do something about it. Don’t underestimate any little, singular or individual act because acting and putting pressure can make a difference, and can save a life.

If you live in Gaza, Palestine, Arab countries or international countries you can still make a difference from where you are. I will post links here of all petitions, action alerts and articles that can help you do something to save Khader’s life. Please read one and\or one of these links and ACT NOW TO HELP US SAVE HIS LIFE.

You can join Addameer's campaign to STOP ILLEGAL DETENTION by checking out this link that shows you what to do and who to contact:

http://addameer.info/?p=1080#more-1080

You can sign this petition:

http://www.change.org/petitions/demand-the-immediate-release-of-khader-adnan

And\or this petition:

http://signon.org/sign/khader-adnans-life-at-1?source=c.fwd&r_by=2447156

And\or this petition:

http://samidoun.ca/2012/02/take-action-for-hunger-striking-palestinian-prisoner-khader-adnan/

You can also check this link for more info about Khader Adnan and how to take action:

http://palestinesolidarityproject.org/2012/02/08/take-urgent-action-day-53-of-khader-adnan%E2%80%99s-hunger-strike/

Here is Gaza's tribute to Khader Adnan, people joined a sit-in tent at ICRC (International Committee of the Red Cross) HQ.'s in Gaza while others demonstrated. Many went on a hunger strike in solidarity with Khader Adnan including myself. Here is Joe Catron's pictures of the ICRC sit-in tent in Gaza:

http://joecatron.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/pictures-gaza-hunger-strike-for-khader-adnan-continues/

Khader Adnan receives message of support from former Hunger Striker Tommy McKearney:

Lets not wait for officials to move. Lets not wait for Khader to die or others to die so we can decide to do something. Back In the 1980s, nobody helped Tommy. They only released him after the death of 10 of his supporters who went on a hunger strike with him. Tommy went on hunger strike for 66 days. Lets not keep Khader waiting for that long. Move now. You don’t have any excuse not to. You can act in any way possible. 

Use social media, spread the word, write about it, go on a hunger strike for a day (not before you consult an adult if you are a child or a doctor if you are sick), demonstrate for him, hold vigils, put pressure and once again PLEASE READ THE LINKS I POSTED TO TAKE ACTION NOW.

Clock is ticking. Have you done anything to save Khader’s life yet?

In Solidarity with Khader Adnan & all other illegally-detained prisoners around the world specially 

Palestinians,

Omar 4m Gaza

I used Maan news agency and Mondoweiss as my references. You can check their websites here:

http://www.maannews.net/arb/Default.aspx

http://mondoweiss.net/